So ANYWAYS, picture this, it's the year 1993, and I just turned 16. Oh yeah, but wait I have to tell you this first. A couple of years before that, my parents bought a 1983 Yellow Nissan Truck for me to drive when I got my license. It had mag rims and a black tarp to cover the back. Did I mention it also had a sunroof! Totally ran that thing into the ground, but I will get to that later in another story, as there are many of them in this series. So on Friday nights when my mom would hit the town, and when my sister would head to some keg party at the clearing (explain that one later fo' sho' too, in the party series of short stories!), my 14 year-old ass would sneak the truck and go cruising around my neighborhood, teaching myself how to drive a stick shift. So I got really confident driving by the time I turned 16, and getting my license was a piece of cake! For reals...
Anyways bitches, back to the story of when I turned 16. One weeknight about a couple of months after getting my license, I got off work around 9:00 pm at my part-time job (Furrs Cafeteria as a dishwasher = gross!) and got into my truck and started to head home. As I came to the intersection down the street, I stopped at the flashing red light and then started to proceed into the intersection when all of a sudden, I see a cop car flash his lights on behind me. The 5-0 pulls my ass over and starts to tell me that I didn't make a complete stop at a flashing red light. I'm still not sure if I did or didn't but whatever. But I'm so sure anyway, how dumb! Who fucking cares!? Uggh, obviously homeboy did so I basically I just sat there because I knew this asshole cop wasn't gonna let me get out of this without a ticket. So sure enough, he gave me a ticket and then tells me that I have to appear in court since I am under 18 and some other nonsense.
And then child, I go to court and of course, the judge was all telling me that I have to do one day of traffic school in order to get this violation taken off my record, so I do! So on one fine Saturday afternoon, I head to a full day of traffic school, which I couldn't even tell you what went on at class, because it was for days ago, but I am sure we watched some afterschool special driving scenario videos and whatnot. And then child, the instructor tells us that it's lunchtime and that we have an hour and to be back at 1:00. "No worries! I'll just cruise home to eat real quick and then head back"!, I said to myself. So I get into my awesome truck, and start heading to my casa. So I'm all in a good mood, and getting real close, let's say, about a block from my house, and what happens? Well child, I see a stop sign so I stop. Then I start to turn on my street, when all of a sudden, this viejo (old man) in his awesome brown 70's boat looking Ford Ltd comes cruising right up the street and, BOOM, I crash into his ass! And then child, I get out of my truck to see what damage there is, and of course, my left fender is all jacked up! I look at his car, and all I see is a broken turning signal lamp.. I'm so sure and of course this would happen... So what do I do? What any respectable teenager would do in my shoes. I basically pay the man off, and then child, I head back to traffic school all scared and shit that someone is going to find out! Nothing ever happens and I get my truck fixed later on.. And sure enough my friend can't stop laughing after I tell her.. It is actually pretty funny after all, ha?
So what is the moral of this story? Here are your choices:
A. Make a complete stop at a flashing red light.
B. Don't get a part-time job at Furr's Cafeteria.
C. Don't get in a car accident at lunch during traffic school..
D. Don't crash into a boat looking Brown 70's Ford Ltd.
More Automobile stories to come child.....
xoxo
Here is a picture of my Truck that I found online... Hilarical!
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