Automobile Story #2

Good Lord! There's so many of these... Really though, I think it's theraputical in a way, for me, not you, whores and childs alike. I mean it really puts things in perspective how wreckless one can be.. I have to say though it is a miracle that I'm still alive, child. And grateful...Oh yeah,,  back to the story... Anyways, I call this as part of  the Tony Buen-whore cronicles... .

Ok here goes child,

Picture this, March of something in 1995, Pueblo CO, child. Here I am 18 and overacheiver graduating a semester early in highschool, and all about it! Ugghh why.. Still don't know girls.... But anyways, I'm a working 2 jobs, one at Matrixx Marketing (you know the one) and some random telemarketing company... Wanting to move to Denver, but not knowing when or how... Anyways, one of my best friends,who is back and forth between Pueblo and Denver, is selling sheets of LSD, and guess who is helping? Well not me, at first..  But then child, I end up connecting her to cholos and cholacitas to get the ball rolling of course.. So this story starts on a Friday night.

My friend calls me to tell me she is in town and her parents are not, so of course my response is "Hell yeah, party at your parents house!"  Oh but or course I have to tell you for one, that her parent's house is in a nice secluded neighborhood, and two, it is like a museum, as in the fucking place is spotless. Even the garage is a white box, where you see 2 cars and a floor mat, with no tools or cabinets or a lawn mower.. nada..  Everything is labeled and in the attic.. Weird...

So at this time in my life, I am driving a used 1987 midnight blue Jeep Cherokee, aka a closet suv according to my friend ( I can laugh about it now ).  So I cruise over to my homegirls house to party it down, except, knowing in my head, that I have to work the next morning. "So no Lsd", I say to myself! So what do I do you ask? I have a friend go to Dogpatch Liquors to buy me a pint of tequila, and a six pack of beer, let's say a six pack of coors light...  Anyways whores, I show up and so do a bunch of friends.. I end up drinking all of that while everyone else trips balls out...  People are doing cartwheels down the stairs, a girlfriend goes after her boyfriend with a knife - crazy shit like that!  Well, as we can all anticipate, my ass gets all wasted and I end up passing out in my Jeep.  What I don't remember and what happens is that my foot presses on the clutch so that my car ends up rolling out onto the street. Oh and also my head falls on the wheel where the horn is going off continuously!!! Yep.. So everyone at the party, who is peaking by this time, tries to wake me up and grab my keys.  But of course I'm not having it, I mean, they are on drugs and I am not, right? haha..

Bitches, this is where it gets good! I yell all beligerent at everyone, start my Jeep, and proceed down the street like a bat out of hell!  My friend tells me, later of course,  that all he could hear after that were screeching wheels, fences getting knocked down, you name it!  Totally mowed down homegirl's neighbors fence, backed out, mowed it down again, backed out, mowed down another fence, wrecked into a fire hydrant, another car, got a flat tire, lost both contacts in my eyes, and end up leaving the scene of the crime wandering the streets until I make my way back to my friends house... Holy Shitballs!!!!  Totally fucked!

Anyways, I go home the next day, and of course, there's a tow truck with my Jeep!  Omg I was in so much trouble! So what do I do? I leave and move to Denver that week and that's when the love of Fab Fridays and every Saturday Raves begins, child...............................

So here's the moral of the story! Here are your choices!

A. Don't become friends with drug dealers.

B. Don't drive a Jeep Cherokee.

C. Don't drink a bottle of tequila and a six pack of beer by yourself.

D. Don't drink and drive.

E. Don't pass out in your car and allow it to roll down the street.

F. Don't mow down your friend's neighbor's fences...